HOW TO RECONNECT WITH YOURSELF AFTER BECOMING A PARENT
Image Credit: @raulangel / Unsplash
The period of matrescence describes your metamorphosis from maiden to mother, and how everything changes and shifts around and inside you to accommodate this new little being in your world. In all the unsolicited opinions, pressure to buy all the stuff and the constant focus on the baby, it is easy to forget yourself and honour all versions of you. I’m here to help you find yourself again in the midst of it all.
WRITE IT DOWN
Documenting your feelings, thoughts and experiences as a new parent can help you organize your thoughts, become less overwhelmed and get to the root of your fears and worries. Free flowing will give you some clues about what’s going on in your subconscious that needs to come to the surface and be confronted to make your life easier. It can help you get to know this new version of yourself, as well as helping you remember the precious moments with your new baby that happen on a day-to-day basis. Journaling is a powerful way to debrief your experience with pregnancy, birth and the postpartum period to help you process all the changes and figure out what your needs are going forward.
GET CURIOUS
In addition to demystifying your mindset, it is also a good idea to incorporate moments of mindfulness whenever you can, so that you can be more present and regulate your nervous system, so that it feels safe in this new normal. Pay attention to how your body feels, any sensations or uncomfortable new changes that arise. Have regular check ins with yourself to improve your emotional wellbeing and check ins with your doctor, midwife or holistic practitioners to help your body recover and get back to where it was pre-baby. Somatic work can also help you to see how your emotions are manifesting physically.
NOURISH YOURSELF
In the postpartum period your body is going through a lot of physical and hormonal changes that can impact your health in many ways. It’s easy to overlook the basics when it comes to healing – sunlight, fresh air, consistent personal hygiene, regular exercise or gentle movement, and hydrating yourself – but this can make a big difference. Giving your temple the proper nutrition it needs can facilitate a smoother recovery, and give you the sustenance you need to persevere with your day-to-day tasks, as well as providing important nutrients for you and your baby if you choose to breastfeed. Other ways you can nurture your body post-baby is to consider postnatal supplements and holistic treatments like a closing the bones ceremony, blessingway, reiki, massage, chiropractic adjustment or osteopath.
SELF CARE ISN’T SELFISH
This is your reminder that you can’t pour from an empty cup. Sometimes being the best parent means taking care of yourself and allowing yourself the space to rest. Don’t underestimate the transformative power of ‘vanity’ appointments – getting your hair, nails, brows or lashes done – these little things can boost your mood and help you feel like yourself again. Indulge in your interests and hobbies, even if it’s just for a few minutes a day, to remind yourself that your entire identity isn’t just about being a mother. You are a multifaceted queen and an incredible parent, the two aren’t mutually exclusive. Make an effort to be around the people who uplift you, or seek new mum friends to feel less isolated in this new world using apps or by attending parent and baby groups. The mum group chat is the place to be when you’re in the night feed trenches.
DELEGATE TASKS & STREAMLINE YOUR LIFE
You have just created a whole human, no one is expecting you to be superwoman. It’s ok to ask for help and articulate your needs to those around you. Your most important job right now is to connect with your baby and allow your body to heal. Nothing else. In some cultures, the first forty days after birth is a sacred time where the birthing parent is taken care of and focuses her attention on adjusting to this new phase of life and bonding with her baby, with limited time spent leaving the newborn bubble. Prioritise incorporating moments of calm into your day and delegate the tasks that can wait or are no longer important. Trying to do it all in those early months is the quickest route to burnout and overwhelm, so show yourself some patience and grace.
In The Intuitive Journey’s Mindful Baby course, each session focuses on an element of the acronym SPACES to help you get comfortable in this new chapter of your life. SPACES stands for self-compassion, physical body, autonomic nervous system, community, exploration and self-belief. In the sessions, we discuss what these concepts mean to you, offer techniques to help you explore them and provide real-time latch support along your breastfeeding journey. Book your free clarity call if you have any questions about how Mindful Baby could help you adjust to being a new parent.
Love, Megan
