IMPROVE YOUR BIRTH STORY BY SPEAKING YOUR LOVE LANGUAGE

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The concept of love languages was first introduced by Gary Chapman, author of ‘The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts’, in 2015. The basic premise is that your love language describes how you like to give and receive love within your relationships, and that disconnects happen when you speak a different love language to your partner.

When you go into labour, your body releases a hormone called oxytocin, which stimulates your surges to initiate the birth of your baby and placenta. During your pregnancy and in the early stages of labour, there are various activities you can do to bank lots of oxytocin for when you need it most.

Oxytocin is known as the love hormone because it is released when you show love and feel love. The 5 love languages are proof that this feeling of love is different for everyone, so I’ve compiled a list of activities to suit every love language, so that you and your partner don’t get lost in translation.

WORDS OF AFFIRMATION

Write a love letter to your pregnant body or to your unborn baby, expressing all the things you love about them and all the positive elements of your pregnancy story. If letters aren’t your thing, you could turn this into a poem or song lyrics. Have conversations with your bump and tell them about your day, so that they can feel closer to you and get to know your voice. Write motivating affirmations on post it notes and put them up in places you can see them every day to reinforce positive thoughts about birth. Partners can also offer Oprah-level inspiring pep talks when you’re in the throes of labour to get you to the finish line.

PHYSICAL TOUCH

Get your hips moving like Shakira to your favourite tunes in early labour to get your baby in the optimal position, then throw on some slow jams to dance on your partner for that oxytocin boost. Sex, foreplay and affection will all speed labour up, so set the scene for romance, it’s about to be a long night. Creating a regular massage ritual with your partner throughout pregnancy will act as a powerful reminder for your body to relax when recreated during your waves.

QUALITY TIME

Make the most of your time as a couple or a family with existing children before the new addition arrives, dedicating time for date nights can make a big difference. Play pat-a-cake with or read to your bump to feel more connected. Approach birth preparation as team, writing your preferences down with your partner, packing the birth bag together, attending antenatal classes together and know that you have each other’s back.

GIFTS

This is your excuse to shop for the baby, buying items that will bring some joy to the sleepless nights, feeding and bedtime rituals. Partners can satisfy your food cravings during pregnancy and provide high energy snacks for the birth. Adding meaningful mementos and reminders of home to your birthplace environment can also help you feel more relaxed and safe. There’s always space for a nice push present too *cough cough*.

ACTS OF SERVICE

Your partner can display their love for you through action by sorting out the nursery, packing the birth bag, creating a calming and invigorating birth playlist, setting up the dreamy birth environment, and speaking up for you during labour and when you have your first few visitors in the postpartum period. You can show your love for the baby by nesting too.

The moral of this story, is that there is no such thing as too much love or oxytocin during pregnancy and birth, you may even get lucky enough to stray into orgasmic birth territory. Try to have fun with your birth and cherish that love drunk feeling when you finally get to meet your baby and expand your family.

Love, Megan